i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
