I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
