I love black thongs
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
