I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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