we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
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