saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
