i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
