i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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