First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
