dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
