from now on my penis is your penis
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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