we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
