i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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