She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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