why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
