I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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