Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
