i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
