For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
