are you so shy because you have an std?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
