just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I had to cum in my sink.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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