I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize