haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
