She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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