You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
