so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
