Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
now i know why i became what i already was.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Randomize
