Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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