wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Randomize
