Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
