just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Randomize
