were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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