Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
