I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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