i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
