He uses pillows to masturbate.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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