My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Randomize
