Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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