He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
