Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
