Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
Randomize
