I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
