dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
