Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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