I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
