what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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