I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Of course I have a pirate flag
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
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