if you like me you must not know who I am
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Randomize
