I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
