My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
