my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
