Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
