carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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