he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
