At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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