Buhtt sex?
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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