Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(775): View more from Nevada

You're the end to all my bad dreams.

(702): View more from Nevada

Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.

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(501): View more from Arkansas

My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually

Fav 19 8348 1001
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(503): View more from Oregon

Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?

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(440): View more from Ohio

he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.

Fav 14 8931 1353
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(616): View more from Michigan

sometimes you have to go after what you want

(313): View more from Michigan

true. and i really want to cum

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(916): View more from California

Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room

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(214): View more from Texas

In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision

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(585): View more from New York

He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out

Fav 1 113 26
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