i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
