I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
