They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
