I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
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