I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
