am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
