did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
