he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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