Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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