Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
